My oldest son has an intense personality. He decides he is going to do something and nothing distracts him from the goal. This personality trait is both a blessing and a curse. He accomplishes amazing things and quite often does the impossible. On the other hand he has to be careful to not get frustrated when things don’t go according to plan or to not hold others around him to an impossible standard.

One area that he has worked extremely hard is learning to play the piano. He has put in the time and effort to become an accomplished pianist. From a young age he would put in the extra effort to be overprepared for a performance. I am no where near the pianist he is and even if I was I have an extreme fear of performance.

Years ago, when I could still play the piano better than he could, he wanted to play at a duets concert that was being held at our church. He worked and worked on a piece and then surprised me when he asked if I would play the other part with him. It was well within my ability and I told him I would be happy to play with him. We practiced and practiced and practiced and practiced to make sure we were ready.

The night of the concert I felt confident that I would be able to do this no problem. We had practiced so much I could play my part while I bounced the baby on my knee and disciplined the the toddler running around behind me. I have always wanted to play the piano well and felt that this little person was giving me the push to step out of my comfort zone and the motivation to make sure practicing happened amongst the crazy of life.

The performance was a DISASTER! The failure was entirely, 100%, my fault. My fingers started shaking and I could not make them play the notes I had practiced. Despite my fumbling, my son played his part flawlessly and did the best he could in a hard situation. I was humiliated and heartbroken that I had let my son down. After so much hard work I had ruined this moment for him. I felt terrible and the tears wouldn’t stop.

That evening as I was putting kids in bed I apologized once again to my son for messing up so badly. He quickly responded, “It’s okay! You’ll do better next time.” I laughed and told him I didn’t think there would be a next time. I suggested that next time he might want to ask his piano teacher or a friend of ours, both very talented pianists, to play with him.

I was shocked to see tears in his eye and to hear a quiver in his voice when he said, “But I don’t want to play with them. I want to play with you. You’re my mom!” In his sweet response I learned a valuable lesson that night. Despite all my perfections and dreams of being more than I am, nobody could replace me in my children’s eyes. I was enough in my children’s eyes simply because I am Mom. I would always be able to see people around me who could do things better than I was doing them but nobody would ever love this boy more than I did and Heaven had not given anybody else responsibility to care for him. I was mom and through the grace and love of our Heavenly Father I was enough!